Showing posts with label sexual abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexual abuse. Show all posts

Thursday, November 7, 2019

Charismatic Comedian Crist Confesses



Taylor Bergland posted a well-documented story of sexual harassment in Charisma magazine (6 November, 2019) that has circulated widely in Christian (Christianity Today, Christian Post) and general news (Washington Post, People) sources. The focus is on the sexual behavior of a Christian comedian, John Crist.

That a popular Christian would be exposed for sexual misconduct is nothing new. From time to time clergy and other high-profile Christian folks make the news for some type of sexual misconduct. We learn of their apologies after reading the lurid details. Then they usually disappear from view. Of course, the headline person and those closely connected, may live with pain and suffering for years.

Is there anything worth considering from the perspective of the psychology of religion? I think so. Several features of the story fit with my thoughts in A House Divided. And there’s some nuances as well. I recommend reading the Charisma story.

9 Lessons from the Charisma Crist Story

1. Technological pathways
The technology use in the story reveals a shift in the way sexual predators work in sacred sex scandals. A young woman is working on a podcast project and wants to speak with Crist. The predator uses Snapchat to pursue his quest. Parents, pastors, and parishioners do well to stay up on technological pathways to illicit intimacy.

2. Drugs.
 Old methods persist. Crist tries the booze approach and the young woman shares the fruity vodka. Alcohol is becoming more popular amongst young Christians after it was demonized by the ultra-conservatives in evangelicalism. Drugs and sex have a long history of association from Genesis to Charisma. (BTW, alcohol is a drug so the common expression alcohol and drugs is redundant.)

3. Christian Idols.
 A young woman reports her respect for Crist using the telling term idolized. She travels a distance to meet him as if on a pilgrimage. Indeed, conservative Christians are schooled to respect people in authority. Crist isn’t an authority like clergy, but he is a leader and became like an idol. Sometime in history, protestants were upset about the saintly figures in Catholic churches. The sanctimonious said "Saints were idols." But there’s something about humans that elevate religious leaders to idol status. Parishioners beware. Leaders have the same basic human nature as followers. Spirituality ought to make a difference, but the spiritual factor isn't always obvious.

4. Sex addict. 
Crist discloses he’s a sex addict to Kate and in his public statement. Labels are an odd thing in psychology. Some labels help patients obtain insurance covered treatment for their conditions. But the term sex addict is more like a folk concept. It’s hard to know if everyone means the same thing by the term. Labels like sex addict externalize problems as if they were diseases or some overpowering entity that victimizes an unsuspecting person who needs medical help rather than participation in life-altering behavioral change. Surely the sexual desire of young people is strong. That’s human nature. And some people have stronger desires than do others. Fortunately, most people have inhibitions and do not harm other people. But others will need boundaries for life, or until their sexual desire dissipates. I won't quibble with those who believe God can deliver sexual predators from pursuing new victims or exorcise some sexual demon (see deliverance from evil spirits). Believe whatever, but at least keep predators away from potential victims.

5. Spiritual struggles. 
There’s a lot of research on spiritual struggles. A leader in this line of research is Julie Exline of Case Western Reserve University. The Charisma author notes Kate’s struggle with 
“what it means to be Christian after being so disgustingly let down by a role model I considered a man of God.” 
Another woman refers to shame and feeling stupid. Some recover their faith and others don’t. The article tells of women who left Christianity. Perhaps the fallout will go on for years. Spiritual struggles are real and painful. I hope more Christians recognize the problem of spiritual struggles and find ways to support those who are struggling. Struggles aren't always about sex. Sometimes Christians feel God let them down. And that faith is not powerful enough to redeem people. Spirituality takes a hit when spiritual leaders hurt others and cover up for their friends out of misplaced loyalty. 

6. Disgust. 
In the quote above, Kate uses the word disgusting. Disgust is indeed a common feeling linked to unwanted sexual advances. And disgust can impair healthy sexual functioning for so many. Disgust makes so much sense for people raised in purity culture. And disgust can spread to nearby people and things by association. Disgust with a male leader can spread to men, sexual activity, or settings like church.

7. Character matters.
 Sex stories sell products. But Charisma offers three reasons why they published the story. They appear to have genuinely considered the Christian ethics of the matter. It’s worth reading the article to understand their perspective. Leaders who book Crist “need to know the person.” People like Crist who link Christianity to “their public persona… should be held to a higher standard.” And “the body of Christ must police itself and has an obligation to protect the innocent and vulnerable among us.” 

My take is that the character of leaders matters to the people at Charisma. My question is how flexible Charisma and their readers will be when it comes to politicians, pop stars, and others who mix prayer, a scripture quote, or a faith message with their power or wealth gathering behavior? I like their focus on protection of the vulnerable. Let's not forget that. And let's be wary of pop stars and others in the spotlight whose light shines brightly until they fall. Christian character isn't built in an overnight conversion. The newly born again need to grow up. They need to be tested. Perhaps I've lived too long. I just get a little concerned when Christian stars flame out and cause distress in their followers. 

8. Forgiveness.
 It isn’t surprising that someone would bring up forgiveness. I detected some caution in the article. At least some people seem to understand that forgiveness does not necessarily entail restoration to one’s career. It’s hard to know when a person has truly changed so they are no longer at risk for abusing others. Too many clergy and other leaders have been able to re-offend.  For more on forgiveness see Psychology of Forgiveness.

9. Apology.
 The expected apology appears in the article. But what constitutes an effective apology? Did Crist get advice on what to say or was his response evidence of a deep regret linked to repentance? There are ways to make an effective apology (e.g., see “6 ways to make an effective apology”). How long should we wait to be sure a repentant person has changed forever? The answers to these difficult questions require considerable wisdom and discernment. Repentance is another one of those things that demand evidence that there has been change.















Reflections

The article is a timely reminder that Christian leaders may be guilty of sexual harassment thus, all churches and Christian organizations must have policies about sexual harassment. When someone like Crist comes into a Christian venue, they need to sign a commitment to honor all policies, including prohibitions against sexual harassment.

It is refreshing to read an article by a conservative source that focuses on the predator and the harm he has done. We have to be done with victim-blaming. And the author appears to have made a serious attempt obtaining credible reports. Of course, Crist's confession helps with the credibility. Accusing people of misbehavior--especially sexual misconduct--is a serious charge that can ruin a life whether true or false. 

Related posts

Sexual harassment, Apologies, and Forgiveness

Psychology of Hurricane Harvey and the metoo flood

Sexual Assault and Allegation Research

Psychology of Sexual Harassment

Forgive? Yes. Reconcile? Maybe.


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Monday, September 19, 2016

Porn and Christian Sex Education

5 Strategies



“[I want] better education regarding sex for both boys and girls [and] information about pornography, and the way it influences harmful sexual practices.” (Liszewski, 2016).

The quote comes from a 15-year old girl who was part of an Australian study of women and girls published earlier this year. This week I saw several posts about the study on Facebook. Summaries of the study of 600 young Australians can be found at Collective Shout and Plan.org

Most Christians I know are aware of the easy availability of porn. Stories about sexting occasionally make national news. Those of us who provided psychotherapy or are involved in the care of youth heard many stories of sexual abuse. The statistics are helpful to understand the scope of the problem in Australia. 

People in other countries can turn to their government bureaus for related statistics. But what’s helpful about this Australian study are the quotations from the girls, which provide insight into how boys and girls relate and how porn figures into the encounters.

You can't really begin to do anything until you understand the extent of the problem in your community. In the U.S. you can find some information as a part of the stopbullying campaign. This effort addresses cyberbullying and sexual harassment.

Christian Sex Education

The 15-year old girl’s request for sex education particularly caught my attention because of two recent publications dealing with the issues from a Christian perspective. In A House Divided I looked at various sexual issues, including sexual assault and sex education. 

In a separate book, Christian Morality, just out last month, April Montoya and Shonna Crawford wrote a chapter on Christian sex education (Chapter 10).

Ironically, April Montoya also led off their chapter with a quote from a 15-year old girl.

“I think I’m ready to start having sex with my boyfriend.”

At the time, April  had been a youth pastor. It was clear to April that the girl did not view sex in the same way she did. Most Christian that have lived more than a few decades know attitudes toward sex have become more permissive. But we may not know how things have changed among Christian youth. That’s why the Australian study is so helpful. And it’s also why an understanding of both sexuality and morality is important to those who want to make a change.

As Montoya and Crawford point out, the common Christian approaches to sex education are not working well. To be sure, there is a decline in the teen pregnancy rate but in the U.S., the rate is above that of most developed countries. In the U.S., most High School seniors have had sexual intercourse.

In my own chapter, I reported findings from a Southern Baptist sample indicating that 80% of those who married after age 25 had premarital sex­–obviously not following the conservative and traditional teaching of evangelicals. Of course, not all of this sex was a result of coercion. We may never know exactly how much of sex among youth is freely chosen versus coerced. But we do know most yough have sex.

From the Australian study and U S sites on cyberbullying we must now be sure to include information and guidance on sexual harassment in sex education programs.



What to do?

1. Learn more about sexual health and functioning.
 Get the facts straight before offering misinformation to youth or anyone else. It won’t do any good to communicate Christian moral values if they are communicated along with false information about sex.

2. All Christians need to confront the troublesome sexuality reported in the Bible.
Failing to deal honestly with Bible stories of rape, incest, adultery and so on can discredit any Christian’s attempt to communicate Christian sex education. The books I referenced include extensive bibliographies to help you understand what the Bible has to say about sex. and offer guidelines on Christian morality. A general approach to sex education can be found at the Mayo Clinic.

3. Encourage Christian schools to mandate sex education.
For those college students not taking courses on sexuality in Christian schools, work with local churches to routinely offer a course. If no expert lives in a small community, work with Christian colleges and universities to provide online coursework, onsite workshops, or better yet, teach someone in your community how to teach sex education from a Christian perspective.

4. Require coursework in sexuality of all Christian workers.
 Local Christian colleges and universities can offer classes on the topic. There are a variety of books teaching the details of sexuality and helping people to think morally about sexuality and other related issue of relationships. And by the way, all Christian organizations ought to provide employees with training in sexual harassment. In my experience, secular employment settings provided better and more regularly scheduled programs (e.g., annual) compared to those in Christian settings.

5. Learn more about the problems young people experience with sexual harassment.
You can start by reading the Australian study mentioned above. You can learn more by reading the chapters in the books I recommended. Other people in your church may have other recommendations. All sex education programs need to include a unit on sexual harassment relevant to the age group and applicable laws as well as support services.

5. Support Christian counseling services. When I provided psychotherapy (I’m retired now), I was pleased to see several churches helping families afford the cost of psychotherapy. On occasion I was invited to speak in churches on healthy relationships and even sex education. Often it was just a one-time talk–not much but better than nothing at all. 

Today, there are thousands of Christian counselors and psychotherapists who are knowledgeable about sexuality. You can find them through organizations like Christian Association for Psychological Studies, North American Association of Christians in Social Work, and the American Association of Christian Counselors.

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A House Divided: Sexuality, Morality, and Christian Cultures

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Friday, April 15, 2016

Rape is a weapon of war

Refugee camp Kenya

“Rape is a weapon even more powerful than a bomb or a bullet… At least with a bullet, you die. But if you have been raped, you appear to the community like someone who is cursed. After rape, no one will talk to you. No man will see you. It’s a living death.”

Jeanna Mukuninwa

Aryn Baker’s disturbing report in TIME (April 18, 2016) is mental torture for anyone possessing at least an average amount of empathy and compassion. Instead of the dulling statistics sometimes—but not always— added to death tallies in war reports, Baker confronts us with real people who suffer horrors worse than death. Children and women, young and old, share the deep wounds of their souls accompanied by bodies that cannot be repaired, despite the work of dedicated physicians.

Any solution will involve changing the attitudes men hold toward women. Some efforts are directed to this goal according to Matthew Clark (CS Monitor).

Baker’s scenes take place in far flung places like the Congo. But we would be wrong to think that children and women in Europe, Asia, and the Americas are safe from male predators. The context of war has always unleashed the destructive powers of some men to a greater degree than others.

Women are traditional spoils of war.

There’s a long tradition that women are the spoils of war. Even the Bible illustrates the troubling attitudes toward women (e.g., Judges 21:10-24; Numbers 31:7-18). The rape of Europe by Nazi and Soviet troops is well known (Telegraph, 2015). But they are not the only offenders. And the topic is controversial and the number contested (NBC).

As Mary Louise Roberts writes in What Soldiers Do, U.S. brothels were set up in France to provide an organized way for GIs to have sex within a month of the D-Day invasion. She quotes Patton’s infamous phrase, “if they don’t f**k, they don’t fight.” She opined, “In the army officer’s view, the necessarily complete command of the GI’s body gave them dominion over the French woman’s body as well.” (See pp. 159-160; Also, NPR story).

The point of including Robert’s book is not to equate the sexual exploitation of French women by U S soldiers to the horrors of the women in Baker’s story. The point is to show that male warriors have a long history of destroying women’s lives—often leaving them with a fate worse than death.

Also, sad to say, even peacekeepers have been accused of raping girls (NY Daily News, 2016).

Who provides services?

Christians are not divided about the evils of rape. Nor do they refrain from offering care and support in an effort to bridge the chasm between victim and survivor. But Christians are divided about some aspects of care. As you probably know, Christians are divided over birth control and abortion. The divides make a difference in who gets what type of care in refugee camps and clinics in war torn areas. That said, Christian organizations are present and providing services to highly traumatized and fragile people.
  
Read more about Sex-related morality in A House Divided

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Thursday, April 7, 2016

Perceptions of Porn Addiction


Cover of Time April 2016



TIME’s recent “Porn” cover story describes a perceived relationship between internet porn use and reports of young men experiencing erectile dysfunction (Buscombe, 2016). Some have been motivated to create strategies to help others reduce porn use. Buscombe writes: “Of course there are much broader concerns about porn’s effect on society that go beyond the potential for sexual dysfunction, including the fact that it often celebrates the degradation of women and normalizes sexual aggression.” Later Buscombe mentions the lack of definitive research establishing negative effects of porn.

Having just published a book about sexuality, morality and Christian cultures (A House Divided), I checked to see if there was some new research. It turns out, there are a lot of hypotheses and very little scientific evidence connecting pornography to harmful effects. But there are some promising ideas—whatever the science reveals, there’s no doubt people in general, and Christians in particular, are troubled by pornography. Here’s my list.

1. Defining pornography continues to be a problem but it is relevant.
The word pornography carries a negative connotation to be sure. Pornography has become a generic term for depictions of nudity and sexually explicit behavior (e.g., Wright, 2013). Some writers include a reference to the motivation of the producer (e.g., to stimulate sexual arousal) but that makes no sense. Think about it—how do you know anyone’s motives? If something is morally wrong or illegal or harmful, who cares about the motive? Shouldn’t we be concerned about the thing that is morally wrong, illegal, or harmful?

The problem with a definition is important because it can lead to action.  In relatively free societies like democracies, people argue for rights of expression. When people agree to be a part of organizations that set restrictions on nudity and sexuality, the criteria are more precise. For example, R-rated movies require justification for viewing and nudes are not permitted in art classes at some Christian colleges and universities (Huffington Post). We could extrapolate from these rules to assume that nudity is porn. This seems pretty restrictive compared to what seems like an “anything goes” philosophy at state universities. However, compared to the modesty evident in Amish and Muslim clothing for women, the level of exposure of a woman’s body on Christian campuses appears risqué. (Nobody seems to care much about menswear.)

2. Porn addiction is pervasive?
Actually, reports of porn addiction are commonplace despite the lack of scientific evidence. You won’t find features of a mental disorder termed “porn addiction” or even "sexual addiction" in the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition (2013). But on page 481 you will see a note explaining the problem of insufficient evidence.

Stephanie Montgomery-Graham and her colleagues at Western University, London, Ontario examined the media problem of rushing to judgment about pornography and relationships (2015). They identified common themes in popular media and compared them to academic research. The conclusion, as you might imagine, is that popular stories lag behind science. Popular stories report about porn addiction. And websites propose cures. But the science is not conclusive.

Alex Kwee and his colleagues writing in the Journal of Psychology and Christianity (2007) recognize the problem of defining sexual addiction (which includes porn use) but proceed to discuss the distress experienced by men at the Christian college where they work. They report that 66% of men who saw a counselor about “sexual concerns believed or suspected that they struggled with sexual addiction, whether or not they were actually assessed to have an addiction. (p. 4).” Later the authors discuss their view of the pressures from the “purity movement” and associated abstinence teaching on these men. They note that the concept of “sexual purity” is vague and adds to distress. They express concerns about the combination of Christian teaching, “pornography dependence and compulsive masturbation (p.11).”

As you can see, porn use can be bound up with beliefs about sexual addiction and masturbation.

3. “Perceived Addiction” is a helpful concept

Joshua B. Grubbs and several researchers (2015) reported the results of two studies that might help understand the “addiction” problem. As an aside, they provide some stats noting that in the U.S. close to 87% of young men and 34% of young women use internet pornography. They note what others have—mental health workers’ belief in the problem of pornography and the lack of research.

Here’s the helpful idea. Instead of focusing on the problem of addiction, they consider the impact of “perceived addiction.” That is, the authors look at how individuals interpret their feeling of being addicted to pornography. This perception includes three key concepts: A perception of compulsive behavior that is out of control, a perception that they are letting pornography interfere with their daily routines, and the presence of emotional distress—feelings of guilt, shame, and regret. The results of two studies supported their idea that perceived addiction to internet pornography explained the emotional distress. The distress did not appear related to the level of pornography usage.

4. Pornography and sexual violence toward women

Evangelical Christians and feminists seem like odd partners in any cause. But they might sometimes focus on an issue of concern to both groups--the idea that pornography leads to sexual violence against women.

What Jodie L. Baer and her co-investigators (2015) found might help understand this perceived connection. They tested the “Confluence Model.” This model suggests that any link between pornography and sexual aggression needs to be understood in a context of other factors—Hostile Masculinity (HM) and Sexual Promiscuity (SP). In their study they looked at how these factors related to sexual coercion.

Here’s a quote from the discussion (p. 168): “Consistent with previous Confluence Model research, the current study found that pornography use was associated with sexually coercive acts among males who were predisposed toward high sexual risk, that is, those who were both high in HM and high in SP.” They add an important qualification. The men scoring high on their ratings of Hostile Masculinity and Sexual Promiscuity were users of violent sexual media compared to the men at low sexual risk.

SOME THOUGHTS

Helping people who feel distressed is a good idea.

The notion of “perceived addiction” can be useful to health care professionals if the focus can be on helping the person seeking treatment discover ways to reduce their distress.

Communities like Christian colleges and universities have a measure of control over access to porn on their networks. But, people usually find ways to access anything that’s prohibited thus an important focus ought to be on evidence-supported ways to help with perceived addiction and the accompanying emotional distress. Codes of sexual conduct and an understanding of Christian teaching about sexual purity are well known. There’s no evidence that more teaching or preaching about purity will solve the problem—perhaps these activities make things worse.

People with strong religious beliefs and values about sexuality may have more distress than others.

An awareness of how people understand what their faith teaches about sex is important to understanding their distress and need for forgiveness and assistance. Recognize there is a wide range of what constitutes “pornography” among Christians—you won’t know until you ask. One person's porn is another person's art.

Harm may be a moral foundation for restricting some forms of pornography.

The finding that certain types of pornography (violent acts toward women) may interact with other factors like hostility and low control of sexual behavior might be more helpful in understanding actual sexual violence against women. Considering the reported high rates of pornography use, it seems the rates of sexual violence would be even higher if pornography, defined as including nudity, was the only cause of sexual violence.

An awareness of whatever harms a significant number of people without conferring any benefit might be a useful basis for making changes in democratic societies. This won’t satisfy either extreme libertarians or those wanting to ban every portrayal of nudity. But studies linking depictions of sexual violence and the degradation of women and other persons suggest a way forward.

Some counselors or therapists may not know what they are doing.
A person in distress over pornography may be the victim of useless treatment if the clinician touts treatment for porn addiction. The reason of course has to deal with the lack of scientific evidence for the condition without considering how to treat the condition. But the idea of treating a perceived addiction and focusing on distress along with the ideas presented in Kwee's report may be helpful.

READ MORE about Sexuality, Morality, and Christian Cultures in A House Divided

For ideas on helping Christians, see Alex Kwee's page.

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