Monday, September 26, 2016

When evil follows - the moral licensing effect



The moral licensing effect is a well-documented phenomenon that deserves some consideration in cultures where we see evidence of ridicule, bigotry, and hate speech.

Recently, my friend, Martin Mittlestadt, recommended Gladwell's new podcast about revisionist history. I took his advice and found the first episode illustrated the phenomenon of the moral licensing effect.

It's about two women who were recognized as leaders--one in art and the other in politics. Once the women were recognized for their social status, the men around them acted as if they had done their moral duty and behaved horribly toward them. Gladwell reasonably wonderered what might happen to Hillary Clinton as the first serious candidate for president. I did too. More importantly, I wonder when the U S will be led by a woman.

You can read more about this effect in a helpful summary offered by Anna C. Merritt and her colleagues at Stanford University (2010). I've summarized a few points.

Moral Self-Licensing and Discrimination

At the individual level, people who establish themselves as morally good seem to feel they now have a license to behave badly. Experiments revealed evidence for this effect in decisions about hiring minorities.

Other studies reveal a tendency for people to seek out opportunities to act morally if they are expecting to take moral liberties.

The lesson: racism and sexism are trait-like phenomena. Statements and single acts do not establish a pattern. Such acts may be no more than building moral credentials as a precursor to granting a moral self-license to act immorally or even emphasize racism and sexism.

Morality of Generosity and Selfishness

Most of us are impressed when we hear stories of billionaires giving mega-donations to charity. Indeed, some gifts may be motivated by a sincere effort to do good.

Research studies have documented tendencies toward licensing less virtuous behavior following establishing credibility for such virtues as generosity, kindness, and compassion. Morally good actions appear to reduce inhibitions against future violations of virtue norms.

Interestingly, you don't even have to do good for the self-licensing effect to work. Just imagining doing good can inhibit virtuous behavior.


Morality and Consumption

Some people feel guilty when they indulge in an expensive purchase or a tasty high calorie treat. In both cases, engaging in morally good choices provides the moral self-license to permit oneself to indulge in "sinful" behavior.

Thoughts

I've been examining and conducting moral psychology research in recent years. My special focus has been morality in Christian cultures given the obvious concerns of leaders that Christians live morally and vote for candidates likely to promote a more moral society.

Of course, Christian cultures are often divided about what is moral. The loud voices of the Christian right often dominate news reports as they are often dramatically opposed to those who hold a moderate or leftist stance.

What's intriguing about moral licensing is that people seem to want to have their cake and eat it too. They feel as if a healthy dose of moral goodness offsets questionable behavior.

I suspect that moral license can be a particular temptation for those who have been moral leaders only to be tripped up by a moral failure that, in the eyes of followers, tends to undercut decades of overt "good conduct."


Think:  How much good does it take to overcome what type of moral failure?


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A House Divided: Sexuality, Morality, and Christian Cultures

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Monday, September 19, 2016

Porn and Christian Sex Education

5 Strategies



“[I want] better education regarding sex for both boys and girls [and] information about pornography, and the way it influences harmful sexual practices.” (Liszewski, 2016).

The quote comes from a 15-year old girl who was part of an Australian study of women and girls published earlier this year. This week I saw several posts about the study on Facebook. Summaries of the study of 600 young Australians can be found at Collective Shout and Plan.org

Most Christians I know are aware of the easy availability of porn. Stories about sexting occasionally make national news. Those of us who provided psychotherapy or are involved in the care of youth heard many stories of sexual abuse. The statistics are helpful to understand the scope of the problem in Australia. 

People in other countries can turn to their government bureaus for related statistics. But what’s helpful about this Australian study are the quotations from the girls, which provide insight into how boys and girls relate and how porn figures into the encounters.

You can't really begin to do anything until you understand the extent of the problem in your community. In the U.S. you can find some information as a part of the stopbullying campaign. This effort addresses cyberbullying and sexual harassment.

Christian Sex Education

The 15-year old girl’s request for sex education particularly caught my attention because of two recent publications dealing with the issues from a Christian perspective. In A House Divided I looked at various sexual issues, including sexual assault and sex education. 

In a separate book, Christian Morality, just out last month, April Montoya and Shonna Crawford wrote a chapter on Christian sex education (Chapter 10).

Ironically, April Montoya also led off their chapter with a quote from a 15-year old girl.

“I think I’m ready to start having sex with my boyfriend.”

At the time, April  had been a youth pastor. It was clear to April that the girl did not view sex in the same way she did. Most Christian that have lived more than a few decades know attitudes toward sex have become more permissive. But we may not know how things have changed among Christian youth. That’s why the Australian study is so helpful. And it’s also why an understanding of both sexuality and morality is important to those who want to make a change.

As Montoya and Crawford point out, the common Christian approaches to sex education are not working well. To be sure, there is a decline in the teen pregnancy rate but in the U.S., the rate is above that of most developed countries. In the U.S., most High School seniors have had sexual intercourse.

In my own chapter, I reported findings from a Southern Baptist sample indicating that 80% of those who married after age 25 had premarital sex­–obviously not following the conservative and traditional teaching of evangelicals. Of course, not all of this sex was a result of coercion. We may never know exactly how much of sex among youth is freely chosen versus coerced. But we do know most yough have sex.

From the Australian study and U S sites on cyberbullying we must now be sure to include information and guidance on sexual harassment in sex education programs.



What to do?

1. Learn more about sexual health and functioning.
 Get the facts straight before offering misinformation to youth or anyone else. It won’t do any good to communicate Christian moral values if they are communicated along with false information about sex.

2. All Christians need to confront the troublesome sexuality reported in the Bible.
Failing to deal honestly with Bible stories of rape, incest, adultery and so on can discredit any Christian’s attempt to communicate Christian sex education. The books I referenced include extensive bibliographies to help you understand what the Bible has to say about sex. and offer guidelines on Christian morality. A general approach to sex education can be found at the Mayo Clinic.

3. Encourage Christian schools to mandate sex education.
For those college students not taking courses on sexuality in Christian schools, work with local churches to routinely offer a course. If no expert lives in a small community, work with Christian colleges and universities to provide online coursework, onsite workshops, or better yet, teach someone in your community how to teach sex education from a Christian perspective.

4. Require coursework in sexuality of all Christian workers.
 Local Christian colleges and universities can offer classes on the topic. There are a variety of books teaching the details of sexuality and helping people to think morally about sexuality and other related issue of relationships. And by the way, all Christian organizations ought to provide employees with training in sexual harassment. In my experience, secular employment settings provided better and more regularly scheduled programs (e.g., annual) compared to those in Christian settings.

5. Learn more about the problems young people experience with sexual harassment.
You can start by reading the Australian study mentioned above. You can learn more by reading the chapters in the books I recommended. Other people in your church may have other recommendations. All sex education programs need to include a unit on sexual harassment relevant to the age group and applicable laws as well as support services.

5. Support Christian counseling services. When I provided psychotherapy (I’m retired now), I was pleased to see several churches helping families afford the cost of psychotherapy. On occasion I was invited to speak in churches on healthy relationships and even sex education. Often it was just a one-time talk–not much but better than nothing at all. 

Today, there are thousands of Christian counselors and psychotherapists who are knowledgeable about sexuality. You can find them through organizations like Christian Association for Psychological Studies, North American Association of Christians in Social Work, and the American Association of Christian Counselors.

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A House Divided: Sexuality, Morality, and Christian Cultures

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Saturday, September 10, 2016

Censored Napalm Girl A Symbol of Hope and Forgiveness





AP Photo by Nick Ut from the Kim Foundation

Kim Phuc made headlines again as she did in 1972 (June 8). Facebook censored the photo of the naked 9-year-old running from a napalm bomb (The Independent). The painful burns covered nearly two-thirds of her body.

The image that went round the world was credited as a factor toward ending America's involvement in the war (CNN).

But Kim battled pain, anger, and bitterness for years. At age 19, she converted to Christianity and began the transformation of becoming a new woman. She formed a foundation dedicated to healing the wounds of others. She now goes throughout the world to tell her story of love and forgiveness.

As a part of her journey, Kim visited the Vietnam War Memorial. She met Captain John Plummer, a pilot linked to the air strike on her village. Here, at the Memorial Wall, Kim expressed forgiveness to John which was a part of her reconciliation.

She has told her story at meetings, in a book, and on film. Her road to recovery illustrates many lessons that deserve to be retold.




The power of the original image added to her amazing story continues to provoke many discussions. Facebook's 2016 ban on the image adds to the lessons from Kim Phuc.

Kim Phuc's story on AMAZON


Morality and War

It is rather ironic that Kim's photo should be banned by Facebook because for many, the message of the photo captures the immorality of war, an act that destroys the lives of so many. Our history as humans suggests we will not soon stop killing other humans. We can hope that the long peace among major powers since World War II prevails. We need constant reminders of the damage done to people like Kim. Not everyone in a combat zone is the enemy. But we can make enemies when we hurt those who have no intention of hurting us.

But we must also be mindful of the terrible toll war takes from the soldiers who carry out the aggressive strategies of a nation's leaders. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is often a lifelong battle with the past that continually punctures the present. Not only do soldiers suffer pain and die by suicide but their families suffer as well. Warriors and their loved ones pay a steep price for the decisions of leaders about a nation's interests.

Morality and Nudity

Of course, the reason for the 2016 story is the banning of  Kim's photo from Facebook based on nudity. Facebook was slammed for their policy. But should we not care about what images are posted online? How does context work to change a photo of a nude child into an internationally recognized moral message? In her story, Kim relates that she was initially embarrassed by the photo. Who wouldn't be?

Few people are overly concerned about nudity in art. But conservative Christians and people in other religions are concerned about nudity. They preach modesty in dress and set limits on acceptable art in their schools and organizations. Normally a picture of a naked girl would be prohibited. We want to protect our young from exploitation. Our awareness of sex trafficking has been heightened by news reports. In the case of Kim's photo, the moral judgment has somehow shifted from what's in the picture to the story behind the picture.

Morality, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation

In my view, morality is about right relationships. For Christians, morality begins with a right relationship with God and extends toward others.

Harmful acts break relationships --sin in religious language. Forgiveness is the quintessential Christian way of repairing the damage from the pain of the past. As in Kim's life, forgiveness takes time. And as in Kim's case, forgiveness works to promote healing and concomitantly reduce anger.

Reconciliation is a different process. Kim was able to make that journey as well. Forgiveness frees us from the past and can serve as a catalyst for reconciliation but it's not always safe to reconcile with those intent on continuing abuse.

Kim was able to grant forgiveness and participate in reconciliation. But remember the soldiers with PTSD. Forgiveness and reconciliation interventions is often part of their healing as well. Forgiveness and reconciliation won't cure PTSD but it may help soldiers deal with anger and guilt.

In addition to the conflicts around the world, Christians and others are divided over social-moral issues, which has been part of my focus in the past few years in writing A House Divided and editing Christian Morality. Clearly, forgiveness and reconciliation are ways to bring divided people together and promote peace.

There are more lessons to learn from Kim's journey. I'm grateful that the news events of the week brought her story back.

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A House Divided: Sexuality, Morality, and Christian Cultures.

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Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Christianity Sex and Orgasm

What’s the Bible got to do with orgasms?
Woman from Bing search- Free to Share and Use


A New Study Provokes a Question About Christian Education

The answer might depend on how you interpret the creation stories. Here’s’ why.

On 31 July 2016 a Yale University study of female orgasm was published in the Journal of Experimental Zoology. The biopsychology of sexuality is viewed from an evolutionary perspective but until this study, previous research and attendant explanations failed to reveal a clear link between human female orgasm and either the facilitation of fertilization or increasing the number of pregnancies. In addition, female orgasms do not occur on a regular basis during heterosexual intercourse but are more reliably produced by other methods due to female anatomy. In contrast, male orgasm is clearly linked to the movement of sperm toward an egg during intercourse.

The researcher’s inquiry considered the production of hormones during human female orgasm then looked for other animals that showed similar hormone surges as a part of copulation-induced ovulation. The findings indicate a specific role for female organism in animals where copulation stimulates ovulation suggesting that this type of reproduction preceded the relative independence of orgasm from reproduction in humans and other primates. They suggest that like other traits, human female orgasm may have persisted as a trait for secondary reasons—reasons not related to reproduction.

Christianity and Sexuality

When it comes to teaching about sex, contemporary Christians often refer to the Genesis union of Adam and Eve as an example of a God-blessed sexuality. The story has been used in many ways, including the idea held by some that the purpose of marriage is procreation.

The difficulty in understanding the purpose of female orgasm has puzzled scientists for years. The new research points in a new direction guided by evolutionary theory. In contrast, a strict creationist view offers no specific scientific guidance in how to understand the presence of female orgasm, which does not appear necessary for procreation.

One integration approach to such issues for students of biopsychology is to consider God as Creator and evolution as a process that is not inconsistent with either the Bible or new developments in science.

See related posts on Christianity, Psychology, and Evolution below.

Thoughts and Questions

Can Christians studying sexuality at a conservative Christian college or university obtain accurate information?

Will graduates from conservative Christian colleges and universities struggle to get into respectable graduate and professional schools if they do not understand the evolutionary bases that explain much of biology and biopsychology?

Will Christians from conservative colleges and universities suffer from a general disrespect in cultures where scientists are highly respected for advances in health care and technology?

How can scientists at conservative Christian colleges and universities deal with parents and donors who insist on teaching creationism and reject all teaching about human evolution? (This assumes that scientists do not accept the view that creation is incompatible with evolution.)

Should graduates and other donors withhold funds and refuse to send their children to conservative Christian colleges or universities that deny the compatibility of creation and evolution?

******

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 A House Divided: Sexuality, Morality, and Christian Cultures.

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Related posts on Christianity and Evolution







Monday, July 18, 2016

Christians, Porn and Culture




Is a porn platform plank just pandering to religious conservatives or is there a problem?

There’s a problem. But who should do what?

Republicans provided a 2016 political platform and porn is a part of the final document.

According to Judith Shulevitz writing in the New York Times (July 16, 2016), efforts to restrict access to porn have not fared well. Some attempts at legislation in the U.S. fell to First Amendment rights concerns. Software filters are not powerful or pervasive enough to limit exposure to porn for children. In the end, Shulevitz draws our attention to examples of current trends in porn and challenges parents—especially liberal parents—to consider what their children will be viewing at age 11—the average age of exposure to internet porn.

The Politics of Porn

Given Christian concerns about sexuality in the culture, it’s no surprise to see sexual issues arise in the Republican party where significant numbers of evangelicals find a political home. The question is, what about porn makes it a political issue?

I think Shulevitz has a point. Porn is a problem—at least the protection of children from exposure to porn is a social issue of concern to many parents. We limit speech rights when it comes to inciting violence or threats of harm. We have reasonable evidence that at least some forms of porn pose psychological harm. Reviewing the scientific evidence, or even funding new studies aimed at identifying the porn-harm connection, might be a reasonable path for legislatures to consider in dealing with porn in the United States. Government can also offer grants to support better filtering technology. Obviously, people with advanced technical skills will find ways around most digital controls, but that ought not to stop governments from trying to limit access.

Christians and porn

Instead of looking to government for assistance, Christians have resources available online to help them understand the problem and install software controls. There are controls on browsers and smart TVs. The limitations are not perfect but they are available. Keeping computers in public places in the home has been used by some though I do not know how effective that is.

Children will be exposed to porn regardless of what parents do. So, a comprehensive sex-education program is needed. You will need to start early. If your church does not address the issue, then consider a book study with other parents as a way to start a discussion. Think broadly about sexuality, morality, and culture (a not subtle hint at my book A House Divided). Then consider more details about a sex education program (see Chapter 7; More resources below).

Here’s a suggestion. Don’t lie to children about biblical morality and sexuality. Intelligent youth will see through the often flimsy arguments in Christian sex books and end up tossing the whole purity speech in the toilet. Honesty requires us to deal with the troubling stories in the Bible. And a sound program requires grounding in principles of morality, virtue ethics, and an appreciation of weighing real (not trumped up) consequences of risky sex.

Psychological Science and Porn

Human sexuality has been studied by psychologists for decades. Obviously, sexuality is not simply a biological process. The full range of psychological dimensions of functioning may be added to the biology of sex—thinking, feeling, personality, and social context. And I would add to these, the spiritual dimension.

The American Psychological Association (2014) has an online article you may wish to read because it includes some statistics. The article summarizes some studies revealing differences in how men and women use porn. It also reviews research suggesting how porn use interferes with relationships. Problems of intimacy and depression exist for some users.

The APA article discusses “porn addiction” or better "compulsive pornography use." In one study by Valerie Voon, the brains of compulsive porn users resembled the brains of alcoholics. Scientists debate the nature of the problem but that does not mean a problem does not exist. Here’s a quote from the article: Whether or not pornography is a diagnosable addiction, it's clear it hurts some people.

References and Resources


My book, A House Divided: Sexuality, Morality, & Christian Cultures is available from the publisher at https://wipfandstock.com/a-house-divided-13548.html  FREE copies are available to reviewers and teachers.  It is also available at a low priced Kindle book from Amazon.

I have provided a FREE study guide, which you can download from the book’s web page. https://sites.google.com/site/dividedchristians/resources


Here’s the link to the APA article on porn http://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/04/pornography.aspx
  
The National Association of Evangelicals has an online booklet available "Theology of Sex." http://nae.net/theology-of-sex/  

A documentary that includes Voon's research on porn addiction is available on line along with other research studies from Cambridge University. The film is titled, "Your Brain on Porn." http://yourbrainonporn.com/porn-brain-documentary-uk-channel-4 






Sunday, July 3, 2016

Christians Respond to Same-Sex Couples


Are gay people welcome in your church? 

Yesterday I had the experience of feeling like a misfit. I thought I was heading into the Convention Center in Overland Park Kansas for the National N-Scale Model Railroad annual convention. When I entered the parking lot I was directed to a spot by multiple men in suits. And it was nearly full. After parking, I looked around at a sea of people that reminded me of a Sunday morning in the 1950s. But it was Saturday. And men were wearing colorful suits with dress shirts and stylish ties. Women wore an array of beautiful dresses—many with attractive hats. Boy and girls were all dressed up too as if they were going to a wedding.

I’d come along way so I plunged into the sea and entered the Convention Center despite my well-worn outdoor hiking shirt, hiking shorts, sneakers, and wide-brimmed hat—my summer gear. People greeted me with kindly smiles-- though it was obvious I didn’t look like I belonged here. I looked for signs—nothing. At the top of the escalator I asked an officious-looking suit if he knew about the train convention. He smiled and pointed to the Sheraton next door. Gracias. It turns out all these nice people were headed to a Spanish Jehovah’s Witness Convention.

I found the railroad folks. And despite the friendly faces of the JWs, my life was on a different track.

Throughout the week I have been thinking about what to share with a group of conservative Christians who had invited me back to share some thoughts on a Christian response to sexual minorities—this in view of the tragedy in Orlando. Last year we spent three hours discussing same-sex orientation, sexual attraction, and same-sex marriage -- now they were interested in more dialogue about behaving like Christians.

We’re all aware of those Bible verses that prohibit same-sex sex. And we are familiar with the arguments by those who put forward challenges to various translations and interpretations. These are college educated folks—some with doctoral degrees.

So I began with my short story and everybody had a good laugh. But wouldn’t it be sad if people came into our churches and group discussions but felt like they didn’t fit in? Hospitality requires us to make people feel at home. Here are a few thoughts I shared.

A Christian response ought to be grounded in love of God.

Matt 22:36-38 (NIV)

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment.

As Christians, we won’t get far in loving others until we focus on our primary faith-duty of loving God. People full of the love of God have been able to overcome cultural and ethnic barriers and stop hurting others. Jesus consistently reached out to heal those who were on the margins of society. Peter learned to love non-Jews (sheet and animal story). Paul learned to stop persecuting Christians (light-strike story). No doubt Peter and Paul thought they were on the right track. But they weren't.

I start with this commandment because I think we too often focus on people without recognizing that our duty to others flows from our duty toward God. Commandments entail an obligation or a duty. 

A Christian response ought to be grounded in love of others.
 Matt 22: 39-40.

39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

The second greatest commandment is the foundation of Christian morality. To love others as we love ourselves includes an understanding of justice as fairness (think philosopher John Rawls). Christian morality includes concerns for fairness and equality. We recognize that the rights and privileges we want are those others want as well. In this context, we must love others— that includes people with whom we disagree.

I’m being practical here. We want to rent or buy a place to live, earn a living, enjoy friends, and so forth. So why are some Christians seemingly so uncaring when it comes to making sure sexual minorities are guaranteed basic rights? Of course they need special protection—without it they are denied those basic rights we have. Don't forget Orlando. Some people not only want to deny rights to sexual minorities, they actually want to kill them.  Do unto others…

A Christian response ought to consider how people are hurt by unjust rules or laws.
Mark 2:23-27; Matt 12: 1-13.

Jesus knew the rule about honoring the Sabbath—it was God’s law. But he tried to help others see the law was made for man. (I’d include women. But that’s another story.) Strict adherence to rules without considering the consequences can lead to harming rather than caring for others. Rules are important for a just society but the blind application of rules yields horrible results.

Let me give you another example. For years the only biblical justification for the ending of a marriage was adultery. And even when a husband committed adultery, clergy often encouraged wives to forgive and remain in the marriage. In the last few decades, most Christians came to realize that it was morally wrong to force women to remain with an abusing spouse—that’s after centuries of abuse! The Bible does not say a woman can divorce her husband for reasons of abuse. But caring people have reasoned that this exception to the rule make sense. (Christians still argue about remarriage but that would take me too far off track.)

A Christian response ought to consider individual conscience.
 Romans 14:5

Christians have been divided over interpretations of Scripture since Jesus was on earth. Paul’s rule in Romans 14:5 advises people to be fully convinced in their own minds.

Many of us in Western nations have religious freedom, which includes freedom to live according to our conscience. I’m not talking about some frivolous acts made up to test a legal limit. I’m talking about serious matters like killing other humans. People like the Amish have permission to live differently within negotiated parameters. Respect of conscience is important.

In this context, I think Christians need to respect the various views of their fellow Christians who have deeply held convictions about birth control, divorce and remarriage, and sexual orientation among other contemporary issues. If a group wishes to set certain conservative moral boundaries I say let them do so as long as they are not harming others or forcing others to accept the guidance of their conscience.

A Christian response ought to include spiritual virtues or fruit.
Matt 5-7; Gal 5:22-23

Any list of Christian fruit or virtues provides a challenge for most of us. Sometimes what people say is contradicted by their tone of voice or the actions they take. Virtue is deep. Virtue is more than words.

The texts I refer to are too long to summarize here. What I am saying is that there are so many positive virtues that could grab the focus of our attention and contribute to the historical notion of a moral person. A person who possess moral character.

So in summary I think we Christians ought to be about a moral response grounded in just rules consistent with Jesus’ command to love others as ourselves. And the rules ought to be tempered by evaluating the consequences of acting on a rule in all circumstances. And finally, moral responses might more readily flow from someone whose character reflects Christian virtues.

I’ve written about same-sex marriage and other issues in  A House Divided










Notes and sources

The idea of the second commandment and equality comes from William K. Frankena, Ethics (1963). Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.

The idea of considering consequences is of course a consequentialist approach derived from various authors such as Jeremy Bentham and John Stuart Mill (On Liberty) and more recently evaluated by Joshua Greene in Moral Tribes. See also Utilitarianism.

I also drew upon On Liberty when thinking about religious freedom.





Thursday, June 30, 2016

LOVING GAYS AND LOVING GOD

"Happy Family" Free to Share picture from Bing.com











Feelings of loyalty and betrayal.

In a video interview, Dianne and Wendell Merritt discuss their love for God and for their gay son. They deeply love both but painfully express feelings of divided loyalty.

Wendell: “Which do we choose?”

Dianne: “I don’t want to betray…”

How do Christians end up feeling such distress?














(Watch the interview at this link)

Loyalty is a moral sentiment.

 In the book, The Righteous Mind, Jonathan Haidt reviews research leading to his formulation of six moral foundations linked to emotional responses. Loyalty is a foundation more often found among religious and political conservatives rather than liberals.

The primary emotions associated with loyalty and betrayal are pride and rage. People are loyal to their families, religious traditions, and nations. Some people are loyal to their sports teams and clubs. Some are strongly loyal to their political party and experience distress when they don’t like a particular leader or suspect their side will lose an election.

Those with a strong sense of loyalty feel great pride when their group, or a member of a group, reaches a goal or does something honorable. And they can feel a strong sense of anger and even rage when they, or members of their group, are attacked from outsiders.

You may say the couple doesn’t have to feel a divided loyalty. But that’s not easy for people who accept the traditional teaching of Christian churches that homosexuality is a sin. Some evangelicals teach that you cannot be gay and Christian sin (e.g., Larry Tomczak). And of course, same-sex marriage is out of the question according to the official teaching of most Christians.

Many kind and loving parents, teachers, and other Christians experience an inner struggle about LGBT issues. They are often silent. Not because they do not care but I suspect it is because they do not know what to say. They want to love God, which entails obedience to God. And they want to love all people-including sexual minorities. In short they want to follow the twin commandments of Jesus to love God and love others. But they do not want to disobey a biblical teaching about same-sex sexual relations.

What’s the way out?

Start a conversation. Like other Christian psychologists, I’ve been asked to meet with conservative Christian groups to provide knowledge about LGBT issues and think about ways to show love and respect. Just talking openly about strong feelings and brainstorming ways local churches can show love and respect toward the sexual minorities in their community.

People will have different comfort zones because sex in itself is not a comfortable topic for many to talk about in church. And as I’ve mentioned before, the emotion of disgust also interferes with reason overpowering emotion.

Sometimes people modify their views and sometimes they do not. But I do find many sincere Christians willing to find ways to overcome the negativity that too often hurts the very people they want to love.

Sure there are hostile Christians who are quick to condemn any sinner. Such folks make the news. But they don’t represent a broad spectrum of loving Christians.



Read more about Christianity, Sexuality, and Morality in  A House Divided

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Notes

The source for the video interview is  compelling love.

Free download of my review of Haidt’s book, The Righteous Mind