LOVING GAYS and HATING SIN



Christians and Homosexuals: Love and Sin

Recently I spoke on a topic I have studied for about two years—the division between Christians over same-sex marriage. My perception of the event was that the tone became negative when one person repeated the words “homosexuals” and “sin.”

Although my hope was to encourage discussion about differing views, I found myself attempting to present other perspectives on the issues. On reflection, I experienced the power of emotion behind the words homosexual and sin compared to words about loving one’s neighbor. Although it was said that “God loves homosexuals,” it appeared to me that the message of sin overcame the message of love.

I might be wrong of course, it's only my perception.

In years past, before Christians really dealt with issues of discrimination against persons who identify as LGBTQ, sexual minorities were disparagingly labeled “homosexuals.” If I heard anything at all, it was some message of condemnation—these were people guilty of some special kind of sin.

In some cases, Christian messages have changed in recent years.

As society began to show respect for sexual minorities. And as more and more Christians revealed they too were a sexual minority, many Christians changed their stance. Most Christians I know want to be loving toward all persons.

But Christians do not want to be on the wrong side of God. In particular, fundamentalist Christians do not want to affirm or even tolerate sin. Tolerance is another one of those emotional trigger words.

For fundamentalist Christians, same-sex marriage is a double-barreled problem-- same-sex relations are sinful and same-sex marriage violates the view that biblical marriage is between one man and one woman. It’s not just an intellectual thing- it’s an emotional thing.

Any challenge to the conservative view appears to evoke a strongly felt need to defend one’s position. Any attempt to consider the views of other Christians is seen as an attack on what God has said.

Identities in Conflict

What I think I perceive among Christians is an external representation of the inner struggle reported by sexual minorities. 

Externally, Christians have a spiritual identity, which they vocally defend against threats to that identity. For fundamentalists, that spiritual identity includes strong beliefs about sin, sex, marriage, and the reality of hell among other things.

The strong beliefs are linked to God’s authority based on an interpretation of select biblical texts. It’s the same strength of conviction that has caused families and churches to split.

Externally, progressive Christians have not been as forceful as have fundamentalists. Finding it difficult to engage discussion, progressives remain silent or move on. If they are heterosexuals, neither their spiritual nor their sexual identities are under attack.

As I listen to the concerns of LGBT Christians, I hear identities in inner conflict. Those with a strong spiritual identity who grew up in conservative Christian homes and churches express the stress of having a part of their identity identified as sin. In the conservative view, their desire for love and marriage must be abandoned if they are to avoid sin. In contrast, heterosexual Christians only have to channel their romantic and sexual desires toward their spouse –they don’t have to deny a fundamental aspect of their identity. (Of course we know heterosexuals have a hard time controlling their sexuality but they don’t have to give it up.)

The odd thing is, fundamentalist Christians don't bother with mundane things like adultery, divorce, and remarriage anymore. The battle cry is "homosexual-sin."

Homosexual, homosexual, homosexual- like a verbal yellow star to mark them as unclean.

Sin, sin, sin- constant condemnation

“Love the sinner and hate the sin” hollows out love leaving a disingenuous ring.

Theology aside, the language of Christian love is often conditional.



Among Christians, fundamentalists control the boundaries of Evangelicals. Fundamentalists make the rules for Evangelicals to live by. Evangelicals remain in the closet--some under fear for loss of employment. I see no spiritual home for sexual minorities in Evangelical Christianity. Not yet anyway. Perhaps that will change.

Sadly, I suspect many LGBT Christian youth are spiritually homeless. Others have homes but are hidden in Christian High Schools and Colleges where their hidden identities are continually exposed to shaming until they can find a way of escape.

So where will the survivors go? Who welcomes sexual minorities? If it’s not too late, they’ll find a progressive Christian home. A place where God's love shines forth.

Others will go where Christians must hide in closets.

It's a hard thing for Evangelicals to show God's love to sexual minorities when they look through lenses of sin but it's different when the look through lenses of godly love.



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