Christian Women, Divorce, and A House Divided

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Christians do not doubt that marriage ought to last a lifetime. It is no secret that divorce was forbidden unless adultery could be established. And even in cases of adultery, women were encouraged to forgive their husbands. You did not hear much about husbands forgiving their wives. Many Christian groups have changed their views on divorce, while still believing in the sanctity of marriage.

Jonathan Merritt (Washington Post, 2018, April 30) poses a challenge to Southern Baptists—the largest group of American Evangelical Christians: “In a #Metoo moment, will Southern Baptists hold powerful men accountable?” Merritt wonders about the views of Paige Patterson, president of the influential Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Essentially, Southern Baptist leaders believe in a traditional marriage in which women are to be submissive to men in the church and marriage. Merritt wrote:

Last week, an audio recording surfaced on which Paige Patterson, a high-profile Southern Baptist leader, says abused wives should avoid divorce, pray for their violent husbands, and “be submissive in every way that you can.”

How much violence should a woman take before she sues for divorce? If you take the Bible at face value, which Southern Baptists and many evangelicals do, then there is no biblical justification for divorce aside from adultery. Another quote helps understand Patterson’s view on abuse:
“It depends on the level of abuse to some degree,” Patterson is heard saying on the 2000 tape. “I have never in my ministry counseled anybody to seek a divorce, and I do think that is always wrong counsel.” He adds, “On an occasion or two when the level of abuse was serious enough,” he has suggested a temporary separation.


Domestic violence image from Bing/ free to share and use
Patterson is on solid ground with the Bible. But he’s on sinking sand with the host culture—that is American culture in general, and many Christian subcultures. At best, evangelical clinicians can suggest a separation and counseling without violating the biblical text.

PROGRESSIVE CHRISTIANS and WOMEN

Progressive Christians interpret biblical texts drawing on principles rather than relying on explicit statements. Evangelicals in transition to progressive views often struggle with moral matters such as sex-linked gender roles in the church and marriage. Progressive views draw on Jesus’ reference to principles that avoid strict adherence to a rule such as breaking the rule of the Sabbath to do good works, like healing. I discuss these issues and more in A House Divided: Sexuality, Morality, and Christian Cultures (2016).

When it comes to women in society and the church, progressive views consider women and men as equals. One example of a text supporting equality is the “no male or female in the kingdom of God reference” (Galatians 3:28). There’s much more to the argument favoring women and men as equals rather than the traditional teaching that women are helpers or the “equal but different” doctrine.

Supporting women as clergy rests on several arguments pointing to a few examples of women as leaders in the early days of the Christian era and evidence that women have many gifts such as teaching and administration. Progressives attribute these gifts to God (See chapter 10 for more).
A progressive view on divorce allows additional exceptions to the adultery clause. Sexual and other forms of physical violence are justified in several ways but the primary basis is the lack of love and respect mandated by the second greatest commandment—loving your neighbor as yourself (See chapter 8 for more on marriage and divorce).

SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND VIOLENCE

Merritt refers to accusations of a “morally inappropriate relationship” toward a woman by a Southern Baptist leader. The phrase is vague. No one is accused of sexual violence. But the accusations raised in the article paint the leadership with a brush of disrespect for women, but that might not be fair.

There is no reason to believe that either male evangelical or progressive Christians would treat women as sexual objects. There is no reason to think that women would be the victims of harassment, abuse, or violence simply because an evangelical believes women ought to be submissive to her husband or be excluded from church leadership. After all, evangelicals do believe a husband ought to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25).

The lack of escape from an abusive or violent relationship via divorce is a difference from those taking a fundamentalist view of the text in contrast to a progressive view. This difference can mean the difference between life and death or between a life or misery and a life of happiness. Is it reasonable to say that marriage is made for people?


We may reasonably ask if the lack of women in church leadership leads to a higher risk of sexual harassment, abuse, and violence than would be true if women also held leadership positions. Research documents moral foundations of loyalty and respect for authority are highly important to conservatives. These moral foundations help bind people together and support a strong community. Unfortunately, these moral virtues can cause people to cover up abuse and violence when under attack from those outside their faith group. We’ve seen too many cover-ups. Conservative Christians (fundamentalists, evangelicals) may need to ask if their loyalty and respect for authority have been misplaced when leaders fail to love others as Christ does.

CHRISTIAN COUNSELING & PASTORAL CARE

A person (woman or man) seeking counseling following experiences of harassment, abuse, or violence has much to consider. In addition to the troubling experience, which may have resulted in physical harm, there are feelings and thoughts that can produce a wide range of distress symptoms depending on the nature of the experience, the offender, and one’s own history of experiences and personality. In severe cases, diagnoses such as Depression, Anxiety Disorders, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can be present and require intensive treatment. Although many Christian clinicians are qualified to provide treatment for the aforementioned mental health conditions, they may approach the spiritual issues differently.

Evangelical Christian clergy and counselors really have no biblical grounds to support a divorce except in the case of adultery. This has been the traditional teaching of the Church for some 2,000 years. A woman may get a reprieve from violence if their counselor encourages separating for a while. But there is no guarantee the woman would be safe even after a year’s worth of separation. How far will the clinician go in moving beyond tradition when a client experiences severe emotional distress in a relationship? Will the clinician set aside traditional teachings when a victim is in danger of ongoing harassment, abuse, or violence?

And for clients, we may ask how comfortable they feel if a pastor or Christian counselor holds quite flexible views that are not a part of the victim's faith tradition? After all, progressive views hold that women and men are equal in society and the church. Women and men may be clergy and hold other leadership positions based on their abilities and not their biological sex. Progressive views endorse equality for women and men in marriage and parenting, which call for mutual love and respect. A challenge for progressive clinicians is to respect the struggle in clients who may not easily set aside the teachings that have governed their lives for decades.

Photo credit
Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary President Paige Patterson poses near a portrait of B.H. Carroll, the seminary’s first president, at the B.H. Carroll Memorial Complex in Fort Worth in 2010. (AP Photo/Fort Worth Star-Telegram, Paul Moseley)

READ MORE

Sutton, G. W. (2016). A house divided: Sexuality, morality, and Christian cultures. Eugene, OR: Pickwick. ISBN: 9781498224888

Sutton, G. W., Arnzen, C., & Kelly, H. (2016). Christian counseling and psychotherapy: Components of clinician spirituality that predict type of Christian intervention. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 35, 204-214. Academia Link    ResearchGate Link




Relevant Chapters in A House Divided

Chapter 8: Marriage, Divorce, and Sexual Relationships 149

Chapter 10: Sex and Gender Roles 195

Chapter 11: Sexual Violence and Christianity 209


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Website: Geoff W. Sutton   www.suttong.com










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