GAY & CHRISTIAN Matthew Turner

 Matthew Paul Turner offers a glimpse at his struggle when he announced that he is gay on Friday 18 July 2020. Turner is a Christian and a prolific author. In his Facebook post he also notes that he and his wife Jessica are ending their marriage but remain friends.

 His emotions are noteworthy and may be helpful to understand a little of his inner distress: “fear, shame, and self-hatred... sadness and grief.”

 The duration and scope of his experience express the deepness of his pain: “I’ve lived many days overwhelmed…”

 His Christian spirituality has evolved as he deconverts from “fundamentalist/evangelical churches” to an unspecified theology but an experience of embracing “freedom, hope, and God as a gay man.”

 In a House Divided: Sexuality, Morality,and Christian Cultures, I present research and interpretations of biblical texts on same-sex attraction and relationships. Christians view gay men differently from being full affirming to more traditional views that one cannot be gay and Christian or other views that one can be gay but must remain celibate.

 The painful transition experienced by Matthew and shared by Jessica offer a current illustration of the struggles with spiritual and gender identity. Obviously, the struggles become more complex when there is a marriage and children as well as a professional career linked to Christian consumers who may have a more traditional view of same-sex orientation and relationships.

 Read the comments from the Turners below. I have also included links to their statements.

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From Matthew Turner’s public post:

Dear friends, I have difficult news to share. After much thought, prayer, and counseling, Jessica and I have made the decision to end our marriage. While we’re best friends and thoroughly love doing life, parenting, and pursuing our dreams together, ending our marriage is necessary because I am gay.
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Being gay isn’t a new discovery for me. However, as someone who spent 30+ years in fundamentalist/evangelical churches, exploring God through conservative theologies, I’ve lived many days overwhelmed by fear, shame, and self-hatred. Though my own faith evolved long ago to become LGBTQ+ affirming, my journey toward recognizing, accepting and embracing myself took much longer. But for the first time in my life, despite the sadness and grief I’m feeling right now, I can say with confidence that I’m ready to embrace freedom, hope, and God as a gay man.
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I would not be able to say that without Jessica’s undying grace and support. I fell in love with her 17 years ago and still love her deeply. Despite her own grief and pain, she has loved and encouraged me to be fully me. Many of the steps I’ve taken recently wouldn’t have happened without Jessica walking beside me, helping me through every fear. Jessica is and will always be my hero. She’s brave, strong and showcases love like nobody I know.

Matthew Paul Turner

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Jessica Turner’s public p perspective on her blog July 17, 2020

How do you write the most vulnerable, hardest post you’ve written in 14 years of being online?

My husband, my best friend has bravely shared his deepest truth this past year. He is gay. While this doesn’t change how much we love him, it does change our relationship. We are moving forward with ending our marriage, while remaining deeply committed to our family and each other.

We have worked for more than a year on trying to make our marriage work, even in light of Matthew’s truth, but it wasn’t healthy or fair to us or our children. We feel confident that this is the next right step for each of us and our family.

Our three incredible children have taken the news remarkably well. We are all adjusting to a new normal, with our home now extended under two rooftops. I am so grateful for the way we love each other and the deep belief that God is with us. We are both grieving the loss of what we had and taking hope in what is to come.

It is really important to me that you know that nothing you have seen on my social media or blog has been a lie. I have always loved Matthew, and he me. I will always champion him and his writing. You will continue to see him on my social media.

Jessica N. Turner

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