Masturbation & Christian Women

Christianity and Sexuality

Various Christian sources include articles on masturbation. And I was struck by a comment from a clergyman who opined, Christians need a “theology of masturbation.”

“Christians need a theology of masturbation.” Really?

Is a theology of masturbation possible? I had examined the opinions of various scholars and Christian speakers when writing, A House Divided. Christians are divided over the morality of masturbation but the disagreements did not appear as emotionally charged as those about same-sex marriage.

In this post I look at data and opinions concerning women. In Part 2, I look at information about men.

Masturbation and Research Findings

I like data so here’s a link to some stats from a US Survey conducted by Indiana University (Huffington, 2014).

Bottom line: 20 to 25% of young to middle age women masturbate monthly or weekly. And much more than half masturbated in the past year--so about half the women in church--if the women in your church are like other American women.

In their textbook on Human Sexuality, Hyde and Delamater (2017), report 80% of the undergraduate women in their sexuality classes masturbate--as they admit, that rate may be a bit high considering possible differences among college women who attend classes about sex and those who don't.

Hyde and Delamater (2017) also summarize the statistics for married adults -- 44% to 52% of women ages 18-49 reported masturbating in the past 90 days.

A 2021 multinational survey of older European women found that between 27% and 40% masturbated in the past month (Fisher et al., 2021).

Findings from a large US 2021 sample (Herbenick et al., 2023) provided percentages for women's masturbation. Most masturbated in the past year--only 37.4% never masturbated. The rates were from a low percentage of daily at 1.9% to a high of 16.9% reporting a few times per month.

A small percentage of those who did not masturbate endorsed "It's against my religion" as a reason (8%). Those that did masturbate endorsed several reasons. The most frequent were as follows (percentages):

I find it pleasurable 63.6
If I’m feeling horny 49
To relieve stress 36.2
If I want to relax 25.8
To help me fall asleep 25.7

Find more in the Herbenick et al. (2023) reference.

Who needs a theology of masturbation?

Since I’m not a theologian and often find myself wondering what could possibly be new about a faith that’s 2,000 years old, I wondered why the clergyman would ask such a question about masturbation.

I actually found a small handout by the National Association of Evangelicals called the Theology of Sex. It’s a free download but there’s no theology of masturbation there.

Then I remembered a scene from Fiddler on the Roof—the one where the tailor, Motel, asks the Rabbi to bless his new sewing machine. I think a theology of masturbation must be something like a blessing. Some way of saying, if something is not clearly in the Bible can we at least get an “official” blessing for it.

It seems, a lot of Christians want to know if certain types of sexuality are "ok" with God. So, join me in looking at what people say.

What the Bible says about female masturbation

Teresa J. Hornsby (See my book review: Sex Texts from the Bible) identifies passages in Song of Songs (5: 2-6) and Ezekiel 16:17; 23:7) that may refer to female masturbation. By the way, there is no prohibition against masturbation in the Bible although some used to think that was true.

Hornsby is not alone. Religion scholar, Jennifer Knust also notes the graphic examples of sexuality in Song of Solomon.

Example: Song of Solomon 5. 2-5 (NLT from biblegateway)

2 I slept, but my heart was awake,
when I heard my lover knocking and calling:
“Open to me, my treasure, my darling,
my dove, my perfect one.
My head is drenched with dew,
my hair with the dampness of the night.”

3 But I responded,
“I have taken off my robe.
Should I get dressed again?
I have washed my feet.
Should I get them soiled?”

4 My lover tried to unlatch the door,
and my heart thrilled within me.

5 I jumped up to open the door for my love,
and my hands dripped with perfume.
My fingers dripped with lovely myrrh
as I pulled back the bolt.

What do Christian leaders say about female masturbation?

They say a lot of things about sex. And some have opinions about masturbation.

Popular Christian author, Rachel Held Evans (1981 - 2019) began her article on masturbation with a reader’s question: “…could you look at masturbation from a theological perspective?” (3 June, 2013)

Evans contacted Christians with "expertise" (I am not sure how she defined expertise.).

Here’s my abbreviated take on what they wrote. Do see her post before critiquing what these people wrote because my summary may be inadequate in terms of details you might consider important.

Abigail Rine of George Fox University, did not see a biblical problem and opined, “I think masturbation can absolutely be a healthy part of both married and unmarried sexuality.” Rine’s first point deals with the expectation of a long sexual abstinence for teens, which she calls unrealistic. She also noted the contribution of masturbation to achieving orgasm often not possible for women via vaginal intercourse. In contrast, Anna Broadway reasons that biblical sex is relational, which rules out masturbation.

Richard Beck, Psychology Professor at Abilene Christian University, began his response with a focus on the widespread problem of pornography. So porn provided the context. After also noting the years of delay until young singles marry, he opines “masturbation may be a critical part in how single persons cultivate and achieve sexual chastity.” But he again turns back to the problem of lust (Matthew 5: 27-28) and suggests the importance of a shift away from thinking about masturbation to a “theology of lust.” By asking a question about the meaning of lust, he directs readers to think about the nonerotic features of lust (e.g., greediness, passiveness). If this nonsexualized meaning of lust is true, then he raises the notion that “masturbation might be a great tool to combat lust.”

Dianne Anderson begins with an affirmation of masturbation as part of healthy sexuality and soon raises the specter of pornography. She opines that masturbation may be sinful for some and not others.

Matthew Lee Anderson invites readers to consider a Christian ethical stance in view of the cross and resurrection of Jesus as a pattern for love of others rather than self-pleasure. For Matthew Anderson, masturbation falls short of Christian love.

Jenell Williams Paris, professor of anthropology at Messiah College (Grantham, PA) believes there is a problem in the way Christians ask about the morality of masturbation. She suggests a different question, which gets us back to the theology issue: “Given that most people masturbate, how can we see even this area of life in the light of faith?” Paris wanders through positive and negative aspects of human sexuality. Her biblical context is the call to find rest from being weary and burdened (Matthew 11: 28-30). She gently invites readers to move from judgment and shame toward an unburdened faith. And she skirts (sorry for the pun) the issue –leaving the decision about masturbation to the reader.

Tara Owens suggests Christians have lived by a false dichotomy when it comes to sex—In my words she’s talking about “marry or burn” theology. She argues for a broad view of sexuality in the context of relationships. Then she gets to the question of masturbation and healthy sexuality: “The answer will be different for different people in different contexts…”

***

Here are some other Christian views.

Eve Tushnet (February 2016), writing for Christianity Today, asked: “What Could Possibly Be Wrong with Christian Masturbation?” She provides a review of common ethical concerns focusing on harm-- she finds no negative impact. She contextualizes masturbation by framing Christianity as an erotic faith with images of a divine bridegroom and a human bride. Notice her moral argument based on harm.

Ed Mazza (11 April, 2016) of The Huffington Post reported a warning from Christian writer, Mack Major: “too many Christian women are losing their salvation because they masturbate.” He reportedly warned about sex toys-- items used in “demonic sex rituals.”

I figured Focus on the Family would have something. I was not disappointed. There’s guidance from Geremy Keeton but the focus is on “kids.” At first you will see a common interest among conservative Christians to provide a context for sex—married persons. And kind advice to avoid shame. There’s also helpful advice to introduce the topic before puberty.

Keeton offers a list of things that can “pose danger.” It is the common list of items such as compulsivity or an “addictive habit” and pornography. There’s a suggestion about getting involved in alternate activities. They even offer an 800 number to call for more help.

So what about Catholics? Boorstein (8 June 2009) reported an eye-catching title in The Washington Post, “Catholic theologians are divided into camps on masturbation, marriage and other church teachings.” According to the article, masturbation is banned by the church but a feminist theologian believes the practice is neither good nor bad. The reason for the ban is that masturbation does not meet the criteria for good sex. Good sex (in an ethical sense of good) is between a married man and a woman focused on procreation.

Martha Rosenthal (25 Jan 2012) reminds readers that the sinfulness associated with masturbation can be traced back to St. Thomas Aquinas. According to her reading, Aquinas believed masturbation was worse than rape and adultery because the biblical aim of sex is procreation. She also reminds readers of the multiple harms previously thought to occur because of masturbation-- things like depression and blindness.

Joy Wilson made news (NPR) a few years ago when she started a Christian sex toy business (Book22.com; named for the Bible’s sexy love poem, Song of Solomon). A variety of sex products (e.g., vibrators, lubricants) are available at Evangelical store websites, which promote the use of love toys within marriage and advertise as being free from pornography. The Evangelical stores provide a Christian context via biblical references about sex.

Reflections on a Theology of Masturbation

1. Masturbation is a sex act therefore, consider reading about masturbation in the context of sexuality and Christianity. In A House Divided I provide a framework for sexuality, which is not limited to masturbation. I suggest discussing the different views presented by conservative and progressive Christians. I have found even conservative church groups appreciate the balanced discussion in A House Divided. Yes of course, I want to sell my book and I am glad to say conservative churches and colleges use it in courses. This link takes you to book reviews by Christian psychologists and others.

2. Begin with moral principles when thinking about practical theology. Unfortunately, the principles referred to by different Christian writers can be used to support or condemn masturbation as we have see above. A great deal of Christian morality deals with factors improving or destroying relationships--that's the love your neighbour ethic. Masturbation could be a solo act unless it is mutual masturbation with a lover. For Christians, the moral issue seems to be the acceptability of masturbation by single women.

So, those who believe that the biblical principle is that sex is only for procreation don't have a lot of options unless masturbation is not classified as sex. That probably won't fly.

For those who believe the Christian sex principle is that sex is a gift from God and that includes pleasure, then there may be more flexibility unless masturbation is classified as a sex act banned before marriage or there is a pornography issue.

For Christians who do not accept the evangelical teaching that the Bible is literally God's Word, have more flexibility in discerning what teachings written by inspired men might become guiding principles relevant to the topic of masturbation.

3. I think when it comes to masturbation and other topics Christians need a rubric to examine morality. That’s why I use the six-factor approach (harm, fairness, loyalty, authority, liberty, purity) based on the work of Jonathan Haidt and his colleagues (see e.g., The Righteous Mind). Most of my comments on masturbation can be found in chapter 7 of A House Divided.

You will see a lot of writers focusing on just one or two issues like harm or claiming a violation of biblical sex. Christians take the Bible seriously but must still think about applying moral teachings to their current situation.

4. Beck's idea about a "theology of lust" (see above) and his challenge to understand lust seems like a helpful contribution. Lust is not just about sexual activity.

5. You don’t find a lot about sexual addiction in the opinions about female masturbation compared to that term in opinions about male masturbation. But there is some evidence that at least some women feel distress about masturbation. In my experience as a psychologist, it is difficult to think oneself out of emotional distress so it’s probably best to see a psychotherapist.

6. A theology of sex does need to address pornography. But what's art to some is porn to others. Modesty is in the eye of the beholder. See other posts about porn in the links below. I suggest that linking masturbation to porn is a shoddy way to scare off sensitive Christian women without being honest about what is pornography. I also agree with those concerned about pornography and exploitation including trafficking.

One important part of a boundary definition of porn is that presentations involving sexual exploitation is pornography. And related to this boundary is the moral principle that children and other vulnerable persons cannot give consent to sex, therefore presentations of sex that include children and other vulnerable people are pornographic. I use the word presentations because porn is not just about pictures and videos--it can obviously include written and spoken presentations.

Modest Swimwear

8. Every church, Christian school, and Christian College, University, and Seminary needs a sex education program. There's too much ignorance about healthy and safe sexuality. Those in higher education need to offer a course. Sex education needs to be a life-long process because new technologies and medical interventions create new opportunities to enjoy sex and deal with sex-related health and mental health concerns.

Christian sex education needs a multidisciplinary focus. For a textbook on sexuality, I recommend Understanding Human Sexuality by Hyde and Delamater.

Christian sex education includes Theology, Biology, Psychology, Sociology that is, a theobiopsychosocial approach. Masturbation is just one topic to include in the context.

Take a look at the limited thinking in extant online comments about masturbation and other topics by widely followed Christian writers. They are likely sincere people and great communicators but the lack of substance suggests the need for Christian education about sexuality.

9. I don’t see many writers offering opinions about masturbation and sexual minorities. I wonder if those who identify as a minority and feel their faith requires a single life would find masturbation to be a viable alternative for sex when their convictions imply that same-sex marriage is not a viable option. In the context of this post, think about lesbian women, bisexual women, and transwomen.

10. Several write about guilt. Guilt and masturbation have a long history. And health care folks have worked to normalize masturbation and strip the practice of guilt. I wonder if the guilt, and sometimes shame, along with the history of negative religious views about nonmarital sex, are consistent with evolution. If so, the guilt-shame-religious connection may be tied to biopsychosocial dimensions of human sexuality.

Read about the Psychology of Shame.

11. To expand on thought number nine, none of the Christian authors focus much on biology or deal with the biological theories addressing sexuality (e.g., Modern Synthesis). In my limited understanding of biology, the traditional stance of the church concerning sex is aligned with what needs to happen for a species to survive until they can reproduce and raise their young. In conservative Christian settings, young heterosexuals come together in a supportive family-like culture, mate for life, and are encouraged to raise their offspring as a team. That conservative stance seems to provide a culturally supportive environment for the best way for the species to survive.

12. When it comes to masturbation, like other sex linked moral issues, Christians are A House Divided. Peace of mind comes with a focus on loving God and others. Peace of mind requires respect. Understanding the issues is a necessary but insufficient basis for constructing a theology of sex, masturbation, or any other topic.

__________________________________

Resources

Ad. Consider, A House Divided available from the publisher, Pickwick, and inexpensively as a Kindle ebook on Amazon. I refer to the scriptures on masturbation and many other sex related topics. I wrote the book to promote discussions about healthy sexuality and Christian morality.

If you are leading a book study group, there's an inexpensive discussion guide for A House Divided on AMAZON.

There’s also a free website with more information about sexuality and morality in Christian cultures. https://sites.google.com/site/dividedchristians/

Monique Moultrie writes about sex and Black women in Passionate and Pious: Religious Media and Black Women's Sexuality.

Book ad Pickwick Amazon

Some Related Research Studies

Gerressu et al. (2008): 36.8% of British women ages 16 to 44 reported masturbating in the 4 weeks before the interview.

Fortenberry et al. (2010): The studied prevalence of solo masturbation for females was 48%.

Bowman (2013): Data from a sample of American women who were mostly under age 30, white, and college educated reported reasons for masturbation, which the author grouped into 5 categories: (a) sexual pleasure, (b) to learn about or better understand their bodies, (c) as a release, (d) to substitute for partner sex, and (e) general sexual dissatisfaction.

Pedersen (2013) found that participants who were involved with Christianity as teens masturbated less than others did in this Norwegian study.

Relationships in American Study (2014): Most women (70%) reported masturbating at least once and 26% masturbated the week before the survey. By age 60, less than 20% reported that they masturbated.

Burri & Carvalheira (2019): German women, average age 26.6 years, completed an online survey. Most (94.5%) masturbated at least once in their life. Most first masturbated at age 14 (85.9%). Data about percentages and frequency were: 26.8%, 2-3 times a week and 26.3% 1-2 times a week. Also, most reported masturbating when in a relationship (91.5%).

Cite this post

Sutton, G.W. (2023, October 1). Masturbation & Christian Women: Theology and sexuality. Retrieved from https://dividedchristians.blogspot.com/2016/12/theology-of-masturbation.html

Related posts

Sexy language and the Bible http://geoffwsutton.blogspot.com/2014/03/sexy-language-bible.html

Perception of Porn Addiction http://dividedchristians.blogspot.com/2016/04/perceptions-of-porn-addiction.html

Porn and Christian Sex Education http://dividedchristians.blogspot.com/2016/09/porn-and-christian-sex-education.html

Masturbation and Christianity Part 2 About Men https://dividedchristians.blogspot.com/2016/12/masturbation-and-christianity-part-2.html

http://dividedchristians.blogspot.com/2016/08/christianity-sex-and-orgasm.html

References

Bowman, C. P. (2014). Women’s masturbation: Experiences of sexual empowerment in a primarily sex-positive sample. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 38(3), 363–378. https://doi.org/10.1177/0361684313514855

Coogan, M. (2010). God & Sex: What the Bible Really Says. New York: Hachette. AMAZON

Fischer, N., Graham, C.A., Træen, B. et al. Prevalence of Masturbation and Associated Factors Among Older Adults in Four European Countries. Arch Sex Behav 51, 1385–1396 (2022). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-021-02071-z

Herbenick, D., Fu, T. C., Wasata, R., & Coleman, E. (2023). Masturbation Prevalence, Frequency, Reasons, and Associations with Partnered Sex in the Midst of the COVID-19 Pandemic: Findings from a U.S. Nationally Representative Survey. Archives of sexual behavior, 52(3), 1317–1331. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-022-02505-2

Hornsby, T. J. (2007). Sex Texts From the Bible: Selections Annotated & Explained. Woodstock, VT: Skylight Paths. ON AMAZON

Hyde, J. & DeLamater, J. (2020). Understanding human sexuality (14th Edition). New York, NY: McGraw Hill. On AMAZON

Knust, J. W. (2011). Unprotected Texts: The Bible’s Surprising Contradictions about Sex and Desire. New York: Harper Collins. AMAZON

Mosher, D. L., & Vonderheide, S. G. (1985). Contributions of sex guilt and masturbation guilt to women’s contraceptive attitudes and use. Journal of Sex Research, 21(1), 24–39. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224498509551242

Rowland, D., Donarski, A., Graves, V., Caldwell, C., Hevesi, B., & Hevesi, K. (2019). The experience of orgasmic pleasure during partnered and masturbatory sex in women with and without orgasmic difficulty. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 45(6), 550–561. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2019.1586021

Sutton, G. W. (2016). A house divided: Sexuality, morality, and Christian cultures. Eugene, OR: Pickwick. ISBN: 9781498224888

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